revulsion

I was having a lie down this morning, allowing my awareness to peak into the knots and pains in my body. I noticed that my energy body felt sort of elevated above the floor. My awareness shifted towards that space between my energy body and the floor and…whoa!

What I found was deep revulsion and disgust with the human condition. Sort of like the deep jing revulsion like was expressed in the movie “Eraserhead”, and deep human disgust like Agent Smith had for humans in “Matrix”. But much deeper, because this is in me.

As I expanded my awareness into this revulsion, it started to expand its dark vapors into me. I shifted my awareness to a Greater Kan and Li coupling of sun-moon-earth, and the revulsion disappeared. Oh…I didn’t mean to do that! So, I shifted my awareness back to a black spot left of the revulsion, and allowed it out again. It tried to scare me (or, was I just falling into horror-movie habits?), but my center is too connected with deeper dimensions to be shaken by that.

As the revulsion explores me, it is taking on the form of an oily black dragon. It seems to becoming cleansed by being in my awareness. I am curious what it will become, what will happen. I am feeling quite strong, expanded in my solar plexus, rooted by shadow into the Earth.

Chris