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In Steven’s blog entry for May 20 he wrote:
“At the end of the practice, as you bring back the universal smiling
wave back into your body and then end the practice, I felt struck
by an INTENSE wave of energy. My whole body literally shook and
convulsed again and again by this wave, kind of violently actually.
However, it was not negative in any way, in fact, it was intensely
pleasurable. You know how your body kind of tenses up in intense
pleasurable pulsations when you are having an orgasm? It was like
that. Actually, it was better than that. It was like an orgasm
except it didn’t have any “sexual” content to it if you know what
I mean, but it felt just as good, and in fact about 10 times
stronger affecting my whole body.If it didn’t actually happen, I probably wouldn’t have believed it
myself. Usually, all I get at the end of the Inner Smile practice
is just a relaxed feeling and being in a slightly better mood.
This, however, was over the top. I’ve never experienced anything
like this before. (Aside for those that read this: Have you had
this happen before?)”This sounds like…bliss! The coupling of opposites (fire and water, male and female, sun and moon, heaven and earth, yin and yang) in an unforced, non-controlling way leads to a deeply balanced (neutral, yuan) state. The violence of the energy (and, you hear that in Winn’s recordings when he makes grunting sort of noises) seems to come not from the energy, but from the reaction of our body, and especially blockages in our body, to that sudden release of energy.
My experience is that this experience cannot be forced or even desired. It is sort of a paradox: how do you do the practice without being attached to the outcome? For me, it starts with not wanting bliss, but with me exploring who I am now. When I do that deeply, and find energetic/spiritual medicines for the deeper parts of me, then those blissful releases happen.
Welcome to the club!
Thanks Chris you reminded me about this entry which I read late at night and wanted to answer too. I also appreciate how you are responding to blog entries as this is something I have wanted to do but haven’t.
Yeah Steven I loved the way you described your response to this force entering inside of you after sending the smiling out.
I was brought up on Bliss as a higher chakra/third eye explosion and I have had my share from living with a guru who used voice and harmonium to send intense waves out. I recall passing out once into a sort of tranced delirium.
The cultivation we are doing is so much more embodied and while I have deep bliss I don’t think I have had the experience quite like you described it. Though as Voice writes I do feel a slow simmering like a smile in my core.
The cauldron which is our embodied container to aid integration grows stronger with these practices and sustains me on low boil. A part envies the experience but when inside the practice I trust what comes.
I know this isn’t where you are coming from but there is a way the mind catches this and tries to repeat it. I bet yours did too. Mine would….bar
Sorry guys I haven’t responded sooner. I had some personal
things in my life I needed to address . . .I really appreciate your responses.
@Chris
It felt fantastic to be sure. My whole body tightening up while waves of intensely pleasurable feelings passing through me . . .You are completely right in that the experience can’t be forced or desired.
The next time I did the practice, when I got to close to the same point I started to wonder if it might happen. Nothing did happen however. I mean I felt good, but nothing more than usual–not the intense over-the-top experience I had before.@Barry
Wow. It sounds like you had quite an experience yourself.
Yeah, as I mentioned, I did kind of look for it again the next time around, but
nothing.The main lesson I can obtain from this is that the whole point of
doing practices is to try to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your
place in the universe. Bliss is a side-effect.I think that when some level of you unsheathes some of the self-mystery and catches a glimpse of the relationship between yourself and the overarc-ing master plan for everything, your soul responds with an intense jubiliation as you suddenly realize for even the tiniest moment that your wildest dreams are insignificant and miniscule to the grandness and beauty of the complete nature of existence.
Here is a piece of the secret that I received:
The universe loves you–exactly as you are.
Personal change is unnecessary as you already fit
perfectly with role given to you. Any apparent change
is the natural unfolding of your given path. Cultivation
is only about understanding why and to “zoom out” and
see the forest through the trees.Best,
StevenP.S. I should be on here regularly until I arrive at
Heavenly Mountain . . .
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