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I want to thank you Wendy for this inspiring post. Although it was directed to another, the words have helped me to unlock a situation that I have been struggling with for the last three years. Also I have found the courage to try a new direction in life without worrying about how things will turn out.
Thank you.
Here’s to stepping into the unknown!
Horton
Perhaps it’s none of my business, but I couldn’t help feeling that somebody else should butt in here and make a comment. My comment is a question really, “Don’t you guys think that you’re getting a bit serious about things here?” It is true that sometimes Jason’s comments seem to have a sort of disregard for conventionality that invites a response. I suspect (no disrespect intended here, Jason) that he sometimes makes comments for particularly this reason: to challenge status quo practices thereby ensuring that he will get a response. But I don’t think that he is intending to disrespect anyone here. And that’s really why I am responding to this post.
I know that when one has attained a certain level of practice, one may be convinced that their path is worthy of being following by others. It is natural to hold it in high regard and expect others to at least show some respect. It is, however, a tricky situation when it comes to guiding others who are somewhat new to that path or who are experimenting with those techniques. I have experimented with several different spiritual modalities and have seen the same pattern over and over. This pattern involves people either accepting the “doctrine” (through pressure exerted by experienced practioners) or not fitting in. One of the things that really drew me to Michael’s approach is that things are not written in stone. He doesn’t want anyone to “Praise the Tao!” so to speak. He is open and not fixated on any particlar lineage (although he is using and refining One Cloud’s practice). And I think that he has opened this forum as a sort of cauldron for discussion for a diversity of perspectives.
It seems that some of the more experienced practioners in this forum have gained priceless insights through their practices. Many of the experiences that you describe, I can’t even fathom. They sound amazing. You are obviously very experienced. But I ask you to take heart in your attitude to those of us who are less experienced than you and who may ask some pretty stupid questions. And ask yourself this question, “When I respond to this person, where am I really coming from?” Is the attitude patronizing, or is there a true desire to help and share?
Wishing you all well.
Horton
Thanks Freeform and Voice for sharing your experiences with focusing and alchemy. I don’t know much about NLP or focusing, but what you two shared about the kinesthetic aspect of your experiences really resonates with me. Reconnecting with isolated parts of me happens mostly in a sort of kinesthetic way that almost seems to require sustaining the interest of an isolated part. These parts don’t seem to want to interact with a larger whole unless they see an opportunity (for what, I am not entirely sure). While they maintain their silence, their pseudo-physical sensation is often the only indicator I have that there is something there.
I’ve been reading an interesting book lately called “The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships” by Mosely and Mosely. In it the authors describe a sort of dance of intimacy between two persons that moves like a sea-saw between the roles of parent to child and back again. In other words, the woman fluctuates back and forth in her roles between a mother and daughter type. Simultaneously, the man fluctuates back and forth in his roles of son and father. The authors make the point that although the parental roles seem to be dominant, their power can always be usurped by the child roles, at which point the roles may reverse (i.e., the parent becoming the child and vice versa).
All this became very revealing to me in light of a recent experience where I had unconsciously been playing a parental role in a newish relationship, only to have the rug pulled out from under me by the other person. Suddenly I was a child and didn’t know what to do. Anger and criticism didn’t get me what I wanted, but neither did sulking. Actually, nothing worked since the other person remained inaccessible to me for about two weeks. I was forced to look inside and start to explore by what and how I am being driven in these unconscious behavior patterns.
My approach to deal with the situation was to do a lot of Fusion, but some feelings were so subtle that it seemed that I couldn’t reach them. They would appear unexpectedly in my interactions and then vanish without a trace. No cauldron seemed large enough or inviting enough to coax them to take a dip.
It might seem like I’m getting off track from your original discussion, but let me ask you this question. Do you think that a particular approach to alchemy practice might be influenced by a deeper behavioral pattern that is seeking to control the results of the alchemy practice? I know that Michael (Winn) talks about certain Shen having particular agendas. The reason I make this point is that until recently, I had no idea that I often play a sort of father (dominant, controling, or knowledgable) role in a relationship. If I extend this behavior pattern to alchemy practice, what will be the results? I only put this out there because I was really shocked to see how vulnerable I was when I thought that I had it all together.
What are your thoughts on the matter? Are we kidding ourselves with our clever practices?
Horton
