[taurusfullmoon]

I was into Carlos’ techniques for about 10 years and did lots of recapitulation. It was pretty cool to see how the more that I did it the easier and faster it was to get into it. However, I would say that it wasn’t until I got into the Daoist practices, particularly the fusion, that I really began to feel that there were some very tangible energetic resolutions within me.

The one thing that I didn’t like about Carlos’ stuff was the denial of the past and erasing the personal history stuff. I kind of see his point, which I believe was to work towards some sort of freedom. But as I also learned through some my experiences with Indian meditation practices, denial is not freedom. Why try to get rid of energy within that is merely in an unresolved state?

The process beginning with the healing sounds, the microcosmic orbit, fusion, and kan and li help that unresolved energy to begin resolving. My experience is that it is like making friends with a long lost friend who becomes your ally and merges into you, making you stronger, more aware, and connected more deeply within and without. I believe that Carlos and some of his followers left this world with many incompletions and left behind many incomplete experimental practices about which they themselves did not know the end result. I would advise against following his practies. Just my opinion.

[taurusfullmoon]

Art,

You’re getting a lot of good feedback on this forum. So you have many techniques with which to experiment.

In regards to the particular issues you describe, perhaps I can provide some insight since I have gone through similar feelings. A lot of the feelings of resentment that I have habored towards my own mother have to do with what one might call “boundary issues.” In other words, since I was very young, I felt that I was overshadowed by my mom and not able to express what I needed to at the time. Since I was also somewhat of a docile child, I tended to repress my feelings and do what was expected of me. When I reached adolescence (and even into my 20s) this pattern continued and whenever I tried to try something new to express myself, I felt that my desires were being undermined by my mom.

Now this is probably a common experience for a lot of boys who grew up without their fathers. I realize now that my anger stemmed from internalizing my mom’s anxiety every time I tried to do something new. And so I was always afraid to act, because I was acting from a center of insecurity and was mad a her because I felt she had forced that state upon me. And I was frustrated because I didn’t feel that I had a strong enough center to be successful in the world. So I also blamed my parents for this.

Anyway, once I started to build a stronger sense of my own center, I was able to deal with my feelings of resentment without freaking out. My center was strong enough to hold those angry feelings and provide a place for me to process them. Then I used fusion and kan and li to help the process along.

Perhaps a similar process will work for you. If you decide to take this approach, you can begin building a stronger centre with inner smile and healing sounds, orbit, and fusion. I suggest that you pay particular attention to the yi (spleen/stomach). As you are doing the five animals in the creation cycle, you are feeding each of the five shen. As you smile and resonate “loving kindness” in the creation cycle, you are encouraging harmony between them and strengthening your centre. This process will intensify in fusion, which I’m sure you will soon learn.

There are so many tools in the Taoist path, that we’re really fortunate. But a thorough exploration of the fundamentals is essential in my opinion.

Hope that helps

Steve

[taurusfullmoon]

Well I use healing sounds in fusion too and also in kan and li. I would say that you first have to connect before you can release, although release can probably happen spontaneously too. Are you trying to access something specific and then use the healing sounds to process that? Or are you trying to apply healing sounds to an existing psychotherapy practice?

[taurusfullmoon]

Art,

I find that it really helps to be open to communication with the shen during any qigong practice and this can easily be done during the healing sounds. In other words, communicating and smiling with that stream of consciousness responsible for a particular organ (for example, the hun/liver spirit). My experience is that spontaneous release happens when a particular part is given permission to reintegrate with the whole.

My experience of this practice (and this could be done during the healing sounds, fusion, healing love, kan and li or whatever) is that once I am aware of some contracted feeling in my “body” that has an emotional resonance, I allow myself to accept and feel the totality of it, do the inner smile, and a particular alchemical practice (such as a healing sound). I often find that the part then starts to resolve itself spontaneously into the larger whole of myself and reintegrate.

I think that the thing to avoid is to try to use alchemical techniques to manipulate our energy in a mechanistic way. Such a way is heavy on procedures, but very light on spontaneity and cooperation with our different aspects of consciousness. Such manipulations may yield small initial gains, but they likely miss deeper issues that require cooperation with parts of us that cannot be manipulated at a supraficial level.

If you haven’t checked out Michael’s inner smile CD, I highly recommend it. It will greatly deepen all your other qigong practices.

Enjoy the exploration

Steve

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