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3 cents for the price of 2.
1. Sex is natural
I don’t know what anyone was thinking, telling people sex isn’t holy. It’s like saying breathing and eating aren’t holy. It’s really exactly the same. It’s just a natural thing the body does.
Spiritual people might want to have sex in unusual ways compared to the rest of society, just as they might want to eat in different ways from other people or breathe in different ways. Spiritual people experiment with this stuff. Sometimes they might experiment with *not* having sex, with celibacy, just as sometimes they might experiment with not eating (fasting) and even sometimes with not breathing. But no-one says breathing is difficult or fearful, something to get over as fast as possible, no-one says eating is wrong. Perhaps, sometimes, the need for sex goes away naturally, just like the need to eat and even the need to breathe can go away naturally. Does it mean they were evil? I don’t think anyone is saying that. Eating isn’t something to fear, breathing isn’t something to fear, sex isn’t something to fear, they are all ordinary.
People can definitely develop unhealthy and addictive relationships with sex, just like they can with food. They’re both interpreted by the body as forms of love, and love goes wrong. But whoever told people sex is something to be feared, was telling them because they feared feelings. They feared love. All the problems with sex stem from fear of love, fear of its expression, it’s not difficult. Transmute what is negative inside yourself, and there is no problem with sex. It’s a normal thing to do for everybody, everybody wants it.
2. Spiritual sex is different
There are any number of ways to have sex. You could wring every drop of orgasmic bliss out of a normal sexual relationship but it still is not spiritual sex. It becomes spiritual when the two people become completely vulnerable and move away from the ordinary reasons for having sex, which are body-controlled, just as one can eat things for different reasons than filling up, or breathe for some other reasons than staying alive. It becomes its own thing, in a natural progression, not seeking the regular kind of completion but refining to something more rarefied.
You can definitely be a very spiritual person without ever having spiritual sex, but as Glenn Morris used to say, give me a good reason please! 🙂
This is all totally basic isn’t it? Perhaps it doesn’t need pointing out.
3. The portrayal of love and sex in society
Porn is Hollywood with the sex in it. Porn stars are just Hollywood stars who go all the way. It is all foolishness! Just ignore it.
It is not even possible to have an honest depiction of love without depicting sex. There is barely any really positive depiction of a long-term sexual couple deeply in love in the filmic repertoire. There is certainly no real depiction of spiritual sex. There is no depiction of aware people trying to heal each other, trust each other. Everything about love in the culture is tainted with foolishness.
Anyone wanting to address actual life doesn’t need to bother with porn and doesn’t need to bother with the movies. These people don’t know anything. Really. These cultural things wail and snarl with their dramas and their egos, but it is nothing at all like real love, so you can ignore it.
Of course porn is unpleasant anyway, and of course, if you try to give it love, you won’t get any love back! But even if you somehow did, this is all just cultural. You can exit it whenever you want, you can exit all the silliness about sex in a heartbeat. Just turn off the daftness of the media and get back to the only thing that can really love, which is yourself.j
Your first two points are excellent, and should be
required reading for everyone!As to the third point regarding porn, I feel I need to
expound a bit more on it.While there are definitely women who do porn because
they want to have sex and are exhibitionist-type, a lot
of the women were sexually abused/emotionally traumatized
early in life, and they do it because they think that that’s all
they’re good for! They have an emotional hole inside.The reason people watch it is because while they might be
sexually turned on, the reality is that they are
extremely lonely and feeling unloved on the inside, and
are craving the emotional connection.So in short this is what “watching porn” is:
People who are lonely and unloved watching other
people who are lonely and unloved, which makes the viewer feel
even more. . . lonely and unloved!Thus to simplify even further, one could say “porn=anti-sex”
Once a person *truly* understands this, and what a person
ultimately wants, then the desire for porn falls away.
It’s the desire to feel *loved* that is craved. This desire
can be satisfied by anyone by doing the Inner Smile
and practicing other techniques of self-love.Steven
… it turns into that. I think it is simply a part of the culture though, this is all I’m saying. Most people in our culture ‘live on video’, they reference constantly something they have seen and they try to get it to live in themselves, their thoughts constantly dwelling on it even though it’s fake, so to me porn is just a symptom of a wider thing – or maybe it’s the ultimate endpoint, where you put your penis in the matrix and have the wires massage it and call it love! I must admit I’m not an expert on porn addiction.
I would say that a spiritual person only needs to fully understand the experience to be right back in play with their true self again. Work through it, consciously notice it, learn, then dismiss it. The problem with people who don’t work on themselves is that they just keep piling up more and more stuff which they never process. j
I bleieve it is a case of just do as I say / I do not know why its not good to do I just learned it that way and it works. The refined understanding of the energy body and a holistic view of the cosmology of the micro and macro cosmos was not handed out or as they might see it as down to the mojority of people. Religions just became assembly lines, this is evil this is good, give me money. Do A and B and you get C. Allot like our “higher” education we have here in america. I see movies/tv as guided meditations, and that this was the original intent of theater. I feel unconscious chi patterns drive one to certain experiences in media, music, or vizual. Most of this I see great fields of emotional and sexual energy being feed off of, and released by poeple. Thus the matrix metaphor, but not so dramatic with the special effects. This is why the fundamnetals I still am in love with, they help unstick these chi patterns and you get to regain your energy and power. To create a new reality grounded in your own truth. From confusion to fusion. With boundarys like ours I do not think you have a problem with a porn addiciton, maybe a writing on a forum addiction.:)
I hope you end up teaching our tools, to impower people. Helping people un plug them selves from the matrix.;)
For the moment I have no comments on the porn stuff though could agree with in principal everything you 2 did write.
The cultural aspect on this to “live on video” interestes me for the moment.
About TV, Some junk newspapers, shows, music conserts, even theatre and porn. Somtimes i feel there is so much today of films ,most of them is wery bad also, if you not choose wery brightly. I can feel the need to look at all this realy is not so great. I can here people that looks wery much on Television saying they are so tired of it beacase there are so much crap. All this is wery sad. Is it a tendency for people to not live there own lives instead looking for something exiting from this sorces. Perhaps the reason for the reality shows were so greate beacase people are fed up with thte ordinary made films. People need more real stuf today than made up things. Most of all real things in there own lifes.
What about this kind of sites. Not realy the same beacase you are active yourself in it, but anyway could also be questioned.
Perhaps there is nothing wrong with all this but its just how much time you are spending. Perhaps not chosing enough of god quality stuf and especialy not doing anything creatative yourself.
Sometimes when using porn in the past during my long time celibasy. I wasn’t shore about if it was completely bad beacase I did get some positive efects from it. Like more energy and for a moment it took away some depression. During the experiment with 100 days withour an ejaculation I had earlier an tendency to be depressed. But alot of psychological changes happened during this first trials and depression was just one of them.
Then I became more and more aware of the negative efects of it. It seemed to afect the heart wich is wery close connected to the mind. Also realising how important the sexual energy realy was it didn’t match to use porn and wanting to learn more about sexuality connected to spirituality and health. It defenitly doesn’t make you happy in the long run with porn. But if you as I desided to live in celibasy for a while beacase of not having enough streangth to make a good relationship I still not shore if it should have been better to keep away from porn completely or to use it from time to time? Trying to see something good from it. Like there is yin in yang or yang in yin also. Ewerything isn’s just black and white.
For me personaly it’s clear though that I am finished with it. But I had to realise I had an adiction to it before I got the strength to stop it. Idealisticaly I should want to have the strenght to show myself I can keep my celibasy without looking at any porn before I move on to anouther path. This is the only aspect of my sexuality I feel is good to develop before going in to new relationships in real life. So there could actualy be development if keeping on the celibacy also.
Sincerely S D
“Then I became more and more aware of the negative efects of it. It seemed to afect the heart wich is wery close connected to the mind. Also realising how important the sexual energy realy was it didn’t match to use porn and wanting to learn more about sexuality connected to spirituality and health. It defenitly doesn’t make you happy in the long run with porn. But if you as I desided to live in celibasy for a while beacase of not having enough streangth to make a good relationship I still not shore if it should have been better to keep away from porn completely or to use it from time to time? Trying to see something good from it. Like there is yin in yang or yang in yin also. Ewerything isn’s just black and white.”
Jsuns strong boundarys sometimes creates a black and white, but resonanting with his strong boundarys you might find helpfull. Often if you start to store sexual energy, your current chi patterns will get super charged from this powerful energy. Often we do not see the dishamronys manifest till puberty. It does not mean they where not there, just not super charged. Our unconscious part of your self will us any power you give it, more intelligence, more money, more sexual energy. If your current tools are not cutting it get new ones.
The release of sexual energy with ejaculation will reduce the sexual power thus the depression seems to go away. If you do not have the tools to resolve the chi pattern ounce the sexual energy has intensified it, then you are stuck exprencing the disharmony. Learn to refresh your self and create fusion out of confusion. Then the sexual energy goes to amplfing harmony. Us your own imagenation to create loving fantasies, make love in your fantasies. Instead of impowering a porn reality. I am basicaly saying porn is not a great tool for the job of resolving depression trully. Kidney / fear, liver/ anger, heart / self judgment, spleen week inner earth poor boundarys, lungs in some cases internalize anger thus depression. If you add strong sexual energy to that cycle then it just amplfies it. I hope that makes since. Maybe gives some reasonning behind strong focus on fundamnetals, especialy the base the center, smiling acceptance. I to enjoy a celibate life style at the moment, the sexual act that I work with now a days is the one in which I smile across space and time and sexualy resonate with my future potential, then I open my self up as much as I can to recieve that new potential, and groud it in my reality. The more I open the more I recieve.Hello Dog
Depression during experiments with periods of not having ejaculations: I earier get another explanation of it. That the sexual energy did get blocket in some sense and that if doing the testicle massage and the testicle breathing it would help me. Your explanation of increased sexual energy also increases an unballanced chi pattern is in some sence more interesting. Can’t realy figure out which explanation did fit my earlier symtoms of depression. Bur enjoy this new explanation
DOG WROTE
“””””I to enjoy a celibate life style at the moment, the sexual act that I work with now a days is the one in which I smile across space and time and sexualy resonate with my future potential, then I open my self up as much as I can to recieve that new potential, and groud it in my reality. The more I open the more I recieve. “”””””
Sounds wery interesting your practise. Is this something you have found yourself or is it included in the universla taos higher practises or some other system?
Curious S D
The two explanations are not necicarily conflicting, as mixing sex with the chi patterns can get them really stuck.
Ohh nice explanation
As I saw it the energies was stuck just due to stopping ejaculation even if not using any porn. Just porn without any ejaculation did also seem to help from this.
With regards S D
I think there is, as always, a language/conceptual problem: what exactly is porn? When is it different from “eroticism” or “love”?
I think the issue of paid sex may be the relevant distinction here.
I recently investigated a site called youporn.com, it was analysed in a financial newletter as a “porn” site that does not make money, but is already like number 15 site in the world after two years. Mostly it is amateurs who post their own sexual acts. some of it is posted from other porn sites with an obvious attempt to get you to come to their site. But the owners haven’t figured out a way yet, even with paid ads, to make the site profitable. But its so successful that they can’t shut it down either. They’ve tried to sell it. as the equivalent o f youtube, but no one is buying.
I was curious to see if the amateur, self-posted expressions were energetically different than the paid porn sites, which personally give me a headache (upper head) – that is their energetic pattern. The actors are thinking of making money, the viewers are often male and driving the sex energy into their head, where it mixes with all their other mental tension. None of it is heart centered, which is probably a good place to explore the aspect of love that is missing. The paid porn business is mostly feeding what I call the global sex beast, the collective sexual force of repression, sexual manipulation, sexual anger, etc.
I did find the energy generally different on youporn.com. Some of these postings are from people who just want to show off what they feel is their main talent, i.e. having sex, sometimes with someone they love. Others are just exhibitionists. But overall, the vibration is very different – because no one is doing it for the money, they have some other type of satisfaction which we can call expression. One can argue whether it is high or low art, but is empty of love? Eroticism itself seems to be an expession of body-love. And how do you tell if someone is having heart-centered sex? you look in windows of their soul – their eyes and check out the communication.
I thnk the whole energetics of the internet and porn is quite interesting because of the amount of power it wields on the planet. It reveals how suppressed the planet is sexually, and in that sense, even paid porn is liberating – better to have your fantasies acted out rather than suppressed. Make the Beast conscious, instead of acting it out thru exploitation and rape, sexual anger, etc.
From the viewpoint of a Taoist practitioner, the challenge is the same as when watching any film – how do you keep your energetic center, i.e. keep digesting the experience without losing your center? That is when you decide if you want to be watching a movie with violence, which I feel is far more pornographic than films with explicit sex done just for money, which is a kind of lesser violence done to self by mechanizing sex (unless one has chosen it as one’s artistic form and wants to get paid for it).
The other reason I was curious about youporn’s amateur was to see if doing Tao practices immediately afterwards would completely clear my field of their thought/sexual-body forms, i.e. can one use the practices to heal sexual obsession, which is probably tougher than most types of obsession.
I was completely successful in clearing my field, but I am not sure I am a good test for beginners. More coming on this topic and the new advanced lesser kan and li practice….
michaelWery interesting.
To talk about porn and distinguish porn from porn. I don’t want to go into definitions here. But as my own experience with this I can realy feel the difference. Somehow I have a connection with this people and perhaps the energy patterns when looking at this,( Which I hope was something I did in the past). Some energy patterns are so bad so I emidiately stoped and changed the site. Others where not so bad. But when aroused the moral issues seems to get less important. It’s like a drug and you regret things afterwards.
Thinking about things you do as a practioner. There seems to be a force perhaps from sexuality that not want your path to be to clean. Thinking about alcohol, cofe, porn and perhaps junk food, sweats and bad habits in general. If you go into the good the bad things will manifest and have more streangth. But as I have noticed also going in for the clean path makes it also stronger in the long run. But old habits seems to come back stronger than ever from time to time.
I’m shore this most be of importance for most of the practiners at least on the lower levels. At the higher levels I realy not know.
No people arives and we will do some clan tao yin. 🙂 🙂
Sincerely S D
Coincidentally I had my own experiment with porn past week and similar conclusions.
Looking for something on the net I deliberate started to open porn sites, the arrousal in the first minute was nice but klicking further and further, like an addict, the disconnection kicked in deeper and deeper.I observed…
I got energy from the first visual eye contacts, but noticed I had to put energy IN later on, I noticed I had to force myself to keep the arrousal going, because I felt the connection with my heart was shutting down and I had to use mental energy through more and more visual stimulation. I felt how I became numb, disconnected within, and very focused on the arrousal, going after more and more and more, time was flying by, but there was nothing but an empty arrousal and a bad feeling in my heart. The pleasure derived from this type of arrousal felt like the ‘morning after’ being drinking too much.
So I shut down all the porn sites, felt a relieve, let this empty feeling calm down, connected within myself again, enhancing a loving nice sexual arrousal within myself in a way I could feel full, connected and loved. I was so happy to be ‘home’ again with myself.
What really turns me off on this sites is the empty eyes when they look in the camera. No matter what they do, when they give me this hollow staring it is the best way to get me away from porn sites.
And I agree that the genuine, or real players, are much more appealing than the robot humans who abuse this holy force for money, empty, and at the end just draining your energy.
I feel ten times more happy with looking at these old Indian, Arabic and Japanese drawnings then looking at a modern times porn site.
It was a nice experiment though and giving me a good sense of how draining this sites are, unless you find some genuine people having real fun and you like to stair at their adventures and use it in a heart connected way.
Nevertheless a challenge because it easily can enhance feelings of separation even more, not having a loving warm partner yourself, hurting the heart even harder.But I am very lucky to have that kind of warmth and love in my life, and feel genuine vs empty. I wish it for all of you as it is an empowering force to grow deep love for yourself and all…
Hello wendy
Eactly so. The hollow looks in the eyes of the people in the sites is terrible. The bad feeling in the heart is the thing warns you against this kind of arousal. Pehaps it’s a bit different for woman who might be more sensitive in theire hearts during all kind of sexual experiences than men. But men to are sensitive there but maybe a litle bit slower with theire heart connection and thats why more wulnrable to porn beacase they not so easily notice the bad thing about it. I guess.
Sincerely S D
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