Dominant women and submissive man

Ahhh, Pietro. We just can’t agree on anything.
I’m putting up the discussion we had from the other thread because you said some good stuff that will probably get missed.

P:I don’t think Emelgee was acting particularly manly. I think you are just using a joke I was making to bring on your sexual retentive agenda.

Emelgee was not acting manly- she was acting dominant which is a male trait. And I can find no ‘retention agenda’ in my post- just your inability to relate 🙂

P:I also don’t think women want to take any more the traditional feminine role.

Of course they do. They just don’t have any real man to do it with.

P: And not so much because men are not ‘MEN’ anymore, for they really were not that much different 50 or 100 years ago. But because, for cultural reasons, and social reasons they just cannot dream happily of themselves in that role. That model has lost its magic for them.

Well, the body is still male but what you call ‘man’ is just a piece of personality left after spending time grabbing his crotch and scratching himself while watching a game and drinking beer with his buddies. So much for cultural and social reasons… What is there to do for a woman but to become a ‘leader of the pack’?

P: Now they want to play being masculine. And be the bread winner. If we didn’t have technology this would not be possible, as they were chained to their role by the need of their home work. But as technology gave them time to think they wanted to change. Not because men were different, but because now they could and before they couldn’t. Read ‘A People’s History of the United States’.

I don’t care about money making. A woman can make all the money in the world and still can surrender to you at the end of the day if you are worthy enough. Most man are not. If you watch American TV you can see how they reward men to be submissive, basically a doormat. ‘Everybody loves Raymond’ comes to mind. It looks funny on a screen, even if a woman slaps a man. You know why? Because men became their bitches by choice.

P: So if women don’t want to take a traditional role what shall we, as men, do?

Don’t want? You gave them no choice. There can’t be 2 ‘women’ in the house.

P: Just becoming more manly will make them buddies, and competitors in work. I don’t think that you can really stop a person from assuming a role just by assuming it yourself. Also, since you are so much in sexual retention, in my experience yes retention would make women more intrigued by you.

People usually assume a role based on the environment they’re in. Women have a great sense to perceive a weakness and use it to their advantage. If you are not confident in yourself and the way you are, why would a woman love and follow you? You can’t even love yourself.

Retention definitely helps you to be strong but it’s just a part of the whole package. You can surrender your heart to a woman and have great connection if she does the same, but as soon as you surrender who you are, she will leave you.

P: But if you are forcing it on yourself, at any level, then your nervous system will scream, and no women wants to be near a man whose nervous system screams.

Being relaxed is a part of being confident. You can’t force on yourself being something else. It’s in you through your growth and experience living life. The woman will see right through you unless she is drunk. Anyone wants to go to a bar to pick up some chicks?

P: You want an example: just look how Wendy reacts to Ron. She practically attacks him on sight. And he should be your role model? Good luck! And Wendy is a spiritual women, with a husband who at home is the king of the reign, as she describes him.

Girls like Wendy will end up being with guys like Ron because they are confident, strong, dominant etc. Spirituality doesn’t matter much here, or are you one of those people who still thinks that just because you’re sensitive and meditate, girls will be attracted to you? Maybe at first, but you will be one lonely man after a week or two, watching Ron taking your ex away.

P: So, it’s not a matter of stepping up, it’s a matter of slowly growing into the role.

Absolutely. As long as you are making steps, it’s only a matter of time.

P: But the fact of having women in the job and in our life every day is also making things more complicated in other ways: it is making us become more and more unreactive toward female figures. Having to have women in short skirt in the office, and always explain to our hormonal system that it is just fashion. Is rewiring us in ways that are not that good. I personally already daily avoid body messages signaling interest, toward me from women. But it is not only me: there are more and more men that between 25 and 35 just give up on sex, and become ‘sexual anorexic’. There was an interesting article in italian, just on this. Not because we ejaculate too much, but because we are under siege with all those images of women and we cannot act our desires out. Men have always ejaculated, and it never was a problem. But now the problem of stimulus-response vs stimulus-ignoreit has assumed such epic proportion that you have people like Jonathan who’s only way out is realising how the images are not true, and the stimulus are not real. And the result is that he needed to clarify what is real and what is not. Like we both did. (Although you don’t believe that I did). But once a person has the ability to be unresponsive to stimulus the temptation is to just avoid to pick up any stimulus. And what does this brings us to? A generation of people who at 35 are ready to close themselves in the cloister. Maybe this is ok for you who are actively following the way of the monk. But I believe that it should be a choise, not a social requirement.

I really like what you wrote here. Couldn’t said it better myself.
I don’t think I can ever become a monk but why is it when you do retention everybody is putting you in the ‘monk’ category? It takes the right partner to do it with, that’s all. Kind of like finding the Dao.