Gurdjieff said that one needed to be a total egoist at the beginning, even to the point of taking another man’s life if necessary. Later, you can pay back what you stole ten fold, to care for the weak and vulnerable.
His grandmother forced him to read the Bible when he was young and he was educated by a priest that his father arranged.
Once a student asked him if he hated his grandmother for the above instructions. No, he said, he loved her for it.
In the end surrender is not so hard to understand.
One needs to give up being a lonely crazy deranged little monkey and accept the help that is offered.