Move distractions/organs and tensions in meditation

Yes maybe. It was as taking one idea from a exercise from Mantak Chias cosmic healing book and try it in anouther way and a new method developes. I¨m not shore if it’s realy new to me but it’s experimenting a litle and a litle developing to I guess.

Hello wendy. I had the feeling you should write something on this! Glad you did.

1 Yes I do feel the energy in the organs, but can’t realy distiguise the different quality of energy in the different organs or the different feelings in each organ. So I don’t know if there is more into to realy feel it. I have read and tried this to make the energy overflow to the next organ. Haven’t grasped it completely but for me this to move the organ works better as I see it right know, have only tried it a few times. I belive actualy that what happens to me is that the energy somehow overflows from one organ to the next while doing it my way also.

2 Thx for encouraging me! I have done such practises (thinking feeling) earlier with woman in my life and I know its powerful! I should realy love to show her my feelings, but I’m still wery afraid. Can’t realy put words to it. In know perfectly well its time for me to move on. I have been single and celibate for years now and it has partly been good for me. But I’m in the comfort zone with myself and not evolving. Actually I’m thinking alot like your writing already, but shorely not completely, just aware of the possibility. I know this is the sort of thinking and feeling I need. In a deeper sence I belive its the passion I’m alitle bit afraid of. But anyway I not want to look to much at reasons why I feel blocked in my feelings, better to start change things! Thx again wendy.

red thrue you text “2” again and like your writing 🙂 should intergrate it into myself instead of bringing alot words around it. As you say try it. Feels scary but I think I will.

Sincerely S D

Yes Steven you are right. I’m say to you as I sais to Wendy also. I already think like this but perhaps I not believe in it enough. It might have changed though.

I also believe that if you as I have done, stop the possibility for love and sex in your life for awhile you manipulate quite big forces to stop this inside of you and it might take a time to loose things up again. It’s like everything you do with your sexuality realy forms you alot and it might take some time to change things back.

Maybe not time but to feel the passion and real love betwean eachother and the barier will melt away.

When I’ve got ill I also was with a woman that new the sexual practises and she could have been taking from my energy beacouse she didn’t want to share it. She was afraid I should have had alot of power over here if I new the practises. This earlier situation could have aded some fear for woman into my life. Just guessing now. But if it was a part of getting me ill it could have taking away thrust for woman in me on a deeper level.

I have no problem in sharing about my illness, sometimes I’m just tiered of speaking about it beacase I-ve had about 15 to 20 doctors and natural therapist look at it already and everytime you have to tell the story again and again and it became quite boring. But on the other side I like to share beacase it helps in trying to find solutions to it. Right know I’m into a westernich aproach with medicine for the adrenals combined with a natural thyroxin treatment. The adrenal medicine I have started for two mounths ago and the thyroxin I will try sometime in the beginning after next year after meeting a new doc.

Yes you are right about maybe the other person not bother about my illness. I realy am aware of it. Maybe it’s me bother about it and not liking to be with someone and having alot of restrictions what I can do and not can do. One problem for instance is just to sleep in the same bed as the girl. I can’t sleep if there is a window in the room, getting to cold, and there can’t be any air conditioning, getting to cold. And I need perhaps 10 degress ,in celsius, warmer in the room than the other person. And this is just one aspect of my problem. Another thing that makes me afraid is that I feel that if I’m going into a relationship again the love will bring up the feelings of long time separatness and torture. I will feel how bad it actually has been and this is something that is frightening but shorely enough healing to.

Regards S D

>>I also believe that if you as I have done, stop the possibility for love and sex in >>your life for awhile you manipulate quite big forces to stop this inside of you and >>it might take a time to loose things up again. It’s like everything you do with >>your sexuality realy forms you alot and it might take some time to change things >>back.

Yeah, but sometimes this is necessary. Sometimes you need to withdraw
and learn to appreciate yourself, before you can be open to someone else.
It’s all a process, and it takes a bit of time.

COMMENTS:It haven’t just been a process of appreciating myself for me. Realy when I was more ill than I’m today there was no point in trying to have an relationship beacase I didn’t hardly have the strenght to do anything appreaciating myself or not and I realy needed to just focus on trying to cure myself. I was realy bad dude. Today I think I apreaciate myself quite alot. But I have low self esteem in this part with relationships. It’s not a fixed thing though I working on it and it on it’s way to get better.

>>When I’ve got ill I also was with a woman that new the sexual practises and she >>could have been taking from my energy beacouse she didn’t want to share it. She was >>afraid I should have had alot of power over here if I new the practises. This >>earlier situation could have aded some fear for woman into my life. Just guessing >>now. But if it was a part of getting me ill it could have taking away thrust for >>woman in me on a deeper level.

I can identify with this on some level.

I was in a really long relationship with an emotional vampire.
She absorbed all the love I gave her, and provided nothing
but an emotional wall in return. It killed me inside slowly
but surely. It made me feel unloved, worthless, and destroyed
my self-esteem. Periodically as frustration built, it
slipped out in various ways causing more conflict and arguments.

After I finally got out of the relationship, I felt extremely
tired, depressed, worthless, low self-esteem, and had very
little interest in connecting with others.

What it took for me was time, new healthy friendships,
support from old friends, and personal cultivation.
It was a slow process, but I can now say that I’m a happy
person again. In some ways, happier than I’ve been for
a long, long time. Even though I’m not involved currently,
I am now happy enough that I feel I can once again to
be open to letting others in.

COMMENTS: For me this process or similar processes with the girl I had a relationship is ower since quite a long time. I do have good fiends toyday and I’m happy most of the time. I feel a litle bit like you might read into my story things that realy have happened to youself but not necessarily fits into mine.

The point is this:

Sometimes intense traumas can bury themselves within you,
and act as a continual drain on your energy. With enough
patience, time, and self-love, these things can diminish over time
and your energy can return. In other words, in your case,
I wouldn’t be surprised that if that as you resolve
more and more of these internal issues, that your energy
will come back. Just having positive reasons and passion
to live, along with being happy with who you are, can act as
a battery to propel you forward into a more energetic and
positive state.

COMMWNTS: Yes I believe this is true. A least to some extent. I have work quite alot with this part during my illness. Mostly with kind of positive thinking and working with self esteem and changing bad thoughts about myself into good ones. I remember after working with this for about three years my profesional healpher did get quite surprised when noticing my cold problem was still there and still hard to deal with when sleeping at other places than my own. It was at my sisters house during christmas. And I had a realy hard time that night beacase of my cold syndrome. It just this it doesn’t seem to be such a big connection betwean the psychological and the illness. I can feel perfectly fine on the psychological plane but the illness is still there with full strenght.

My ordinary doctor have been looking at the psychological part as the main reason as I see it, beacase the blood result doesn’t show anything. But for instance of the persons with hypothyroidism they are just able to detect about 70% of the people with the illness. I did wisit an endocronoligst telling me it could be this anyway. So today this is my main line of trying to cure myself.

Still though I am thinking about a couse that might be psychological. Actually to put together some of the stuff from Mantak Chias books have given me a clue. If you have red in the Tao Yin book about the balance betwean the heart and the kidney. Emotionally betwean love and fear. This is also connected to the adrenals=kidney yang. Might be a deeper problem in me perhaps from problem from my mother in early years having problem with giving love. If it is an inbalance her the psoas will get short and I have kind of problem with psoas. ( Not huge but kind of) The psoas is also connected to cold in the body! From Mantak Chias book Tan tien qigong.

There is also a connection betwean the adrenals and rooting. The main psychological issue with peaple with adrenal fatigue is to root themselves, this problem often disapears when the adrenals get fixed. I sweat alot when doing iron shirt for instance. I’m on my way to increase such practises in my daily exercises.

Summary: I put most of my effort today on the thyroxin and adrenal treatment. But in my universal tao practise I trie to do something, to exercises daily, to strenghtening the kideys. Haw started a group therapy with painting but had to stop momentarily beacase the adrenal fatigue treatment is expensive. Working with my relationship issue also.

>>I have no problem in sharing about my illness, sometimes I’m just tiered of >>speaking about it beacase I-ve had about 15 to 20 doctors and natural therapist >>look at it already and everytime you have to tell the story again and again and it >>became quite boring. But on the other side I like to share beacase it helps in >>trying to find solutions to it. Right know I’m into a westernich aproach with >>medicine for the adrenals combined with a natural thyroxin treatment. The adrenal >>medicine I have started for two mounths ago and the thyroxin I will try sometime in >>the beginning after next year after meeting a new doc.

You might not like what I’m about to say, but
I think I need to say it . . .
While I would never discourage you from continuing
to seek medical advice, I would be willing to bet
that a large part of your illness is due to
internal psychological and emotional issues. Now,
in that I’m not saying that you are not having
real physical issues, because obviously you are!!
However, I’m betting that the root cause of the physical
symptoms is caused by these things. In other words,
past traumas are still subconsciously beating you
up, and like anyone who gets beat up, you end up
sore, exhausted, and tired. Sometimes just understanding
this can give you a kick-start, because you take the
power out of the hands of the illness and put it back
in your own hands.

What I recommend is to practice a lot of self-love, ask
yourself what it is you really want out of life, and
then allow yourself to accept the truth that you
deserve it . . . because you do!

COMMENT: One of my favorite exercises is the inner smile sometimes it makes me shining of radiant love and happiness real nice. Yes perhaps some psychological issues is the main cause to this problem. If the treatment withe the medicines doesn-t work I think I will do the group theraphy regularily and I think I will go to an schaman and see where it leeds. Perhaps I manage to have a relationship also and get the opurtunity to look into this issues deeper.

>>Yes you are right about maybe the other person not bother about my illness. I realy >>am aware of it. Maybe it’s me bother about it and not liking to be with someone and >>having alot of restrictions what I can do and not can do. One problem for instance >>is just to sleep in the same bed as the girl. I can’t sleep if there is a window in >>the room, getting to cold, and there can’t be any air conditioning, getting to >>cold. And I need perhaps 10 degress ,in celsius, warmer in the room than the other >>person. And this is just one aspect of my problem.

Don’t get angry at me, but to me this is what this looks like:
It looks like really you are afraid of emotional intimacy due
to some past problems here, and you are using the illness as
an excuse to maintain distance. Moreover, it may even be the
case that subconsciously you actually *like* having the illness
because it helps provide you with an excuse to avoid others.
Then, in doing so, you perpetuate it! I’m saying this with
the utmost love for you as a person here. I’ve made similar
realizations for myself in the past, and I suspect that
this might apply to you as well.

Realistically, if she loves you she’ll understand. Moreover, as
far as temperature goes, put on some thermal underwear/undershirts
on–a couple layers if need be–to remedy the problem. Also,
if you are in a bed with the girl, I can think of plenty of
things you can do (with her) to keep you warm, if not hot 🙂

COMMENTS: You are underestimating the problem with my coldness. If it was enogh to put on some extra clodes then I should think the problem is partly solved. Actualy putting on more clouds and more blankets make it worse. It has to be the air that is hot and the clothes and the blanket rather thin. Otherwise the cold from the air is going deeper into the body while sleeping at it realy hurts alot. Of course it helps a while to put on more blakets over the body and over the head so you just have a hole to breath throuhg but then you are getting warm in some sense to warm and sweat alot, the air is still cold and go even deeper into the body. This is what happens if I not have enough warm air around me or if I’m sleeping in a room with air conditioning or a closed window that is not completely new and wery well isolated. Actually there was a time I had it like this every night no matter how much clothes or how hot air. As soon as I fell to sleep if I could at all I woke up cpmpletely wet from sweat and with a much hurting coldness. Could hurt as much as it is possible to be aware of I think. This was the torture. I lasted for about three years and did get worse if I sometimes wisited someone beacase they not had as warm as I needed at home. I haven’t been sleeping at other places than my own for three years now. I don’t wan’t to feel this coldness again I have had enough. It’s like if you had been tortured for years and not wish to wisit the torture chamber afterwards. If it wasn’t psychological from the beginning it will be after a time. So today I have desided I’m not sleeping at other places. It will be the first time in three years when I go and wisit the dr aboud at my sisters place in february though.

This is part of the story that holds me back from being with a woman. But gosh I raly should like to be able just to sleep together with someone I like much. This is something I long for even more than the sex part of it. To just wake up togehter and make some breakfist should be greate.

If you think I exagerate I’m not!

>>Another thing that makes me afraid is that I feel that if I’m going into a >>relationship again the love will bring up the feelings of long time separatness and >>torture. I will feel how bad it actually has been and this is something that is >>frightening but shorely enough healing to.

Oh man, I feel your pain here.
Yeah, actually I completely understand this. More than you know
actually. Part of it might be you just haven’t had enough time
to deal with the emotional pain you have and/or you haven’t
had enough positive interactions with others to help make
you feel separated from these bad feelings. What you have to
realize is that whoever this girl is, she is not whatever
lies in the past. Allow yourself the opportunity and
the possibility that you can be happy; don’t be a judge
and executioner for doom and gloom before you even get out the
door. Allow others to have the opportunity to completely
surprise you, unencumbered by any previous ideas you might have.

I wish you all the best and success with this. COMMENTS thx 🙂

COMMENT: For me its more and more clear that its much about the cold problem that holds me back even though I have had the feeling there might be someting else also. But today after thinking about it I belive its this cold problem that is the main cause. It holds me back and I just don’t take any initiatives. If it is that I’m seriously in love I get afraid. And if it is someone I just want to have sex with the embarasement and the problem with my body seems to make me belive I prefer to do nothing.

So Steven there might be some deeper issue here but when being ill it’s not so much about analysing the cause as it is about finding a way to deeling with the problem and to finding the right help you belive in most in the moment.

With regards Swedich Dragon