Neutral acceptance and how it helped me to process my grief

Earlier tonight I found myself recalling a practice I’d learned through both in person and dvd-based practices; the inner smile meditation. I’m currently struggling with grief over the loss of two friends; one developed through philosophical discourse and an agreement of what common sense is in childhood/early adulthood beginning age 13 ending age 26 and one developed through a sense of mentorship when beginning age 26 and 18 ending at my age being 27 . I felt that the latter relationship needed guidance and when he passed it upset me just as deeply.

I’ve been abusing substances and neglecting practices for what seems like a long time now. Earlier this evening I revisited a playlist that I had created with one and shared with another, and my knees buckled with grief. One was a bassist, another a singer. I succumbed to an overwhelming flow of emotions and a visceral feeling of what I feel that my life is missing. I was reminded of what I’d invested of myself and what I’d wished to get back and why I’d stopped myself from feeling these things and all of a sudden, naturally, the idea of accepting all of this and allowing it to move from the right brain to the left brain and back again gave me a point of reference and balance, and as the playlist continued I did my very best to grasp at effective meditation. much to my chagrin

I haven’t meditated in a couple of years, but holy shit did it feel good.

Thank you to the healing Tao community and I’m so happy to see that this site’s archives and functionality has been improved upon

Sincerely, an appreciative wandering soul.