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Hello
I´m following the discussion started by Explorer below. It started some thoughts and reflexion about my own life.
First I remember one thing with my own retention practise, that perhaps not is the same as explerer is going true but anyway similar. Doing the retention for 100 days, which I have done three times I did notise many changes during those retention periods. One was that from time to time my sexdrive was completely gone for longer periods of time. Sometimes I also remember that when I thought it was gone I did meet a wonderful atractive woman and the sexdrive come back, in multitude, actually stronger than ever. This has happened on some occassions and some of the times I was realy suprised beacase I was worried my sexdrive was gone, but realy it wasn’t. It was like sleeping, perhaps my body needed the rest from the sexuality to heal, I remember Mantak Chia has wrote abote that somewhere in hes books. So perhaps everytime it is not congestion! Sometimes there are changes that are just good and that you just have to follow, go with the changes and not worry. The difficult part should then be to know the difference.
I personally have done retention for longer periods of time. But I have always been back at more regular ejaculations afterwards. When it has worked fine I have done more retention at the winters and more ejaculations at the spring or summer. That threory seems to work at least for me.
Later as I wrote I have had problems with my retention. Being in love with wrong woman and started a relationship with a married woman. The breake did hurt alot and I was a bit confused, realised this winter that I couldn´t do retention as I used to wintertime, beacase it agreviated the pain in the heart! Instead I have been working with ballancing the kidneys and the heart, I think quite succesfully, beacase the pain is gone, but not always, I still miss her from time to time.
Anyway I have also been working with my health lately. I have been following advices from master Yudelove and also some exercises I myself have shoosen for more work on the kidneys mostly and also with the heart.
I have also been doing alot other health practises! Have had some succes with my homeopatic treatment. Did not follow my MD advises beacase I did do some herbal remedies in combination with the homeopathy, I wanted to do everything I new was good at the same time, frustrated ower the time it takes to get rid of or come true the health issue. Well anyway I did combine alot of things together with the qigong and actually I have succeded in some sence. My health has improved more the last three months with this new way of combining things than it did on say a time preriod of about two years before.
At the same time on the back side of what I not have managed is both the cofe and the porn issue. The cofe issue was ok untill I started to work alot more for about three weeks ago. The porn has been an issue from time to time ower the whole winter. And I have had an weak erection and no good sexual stamina. I do not like it.
Anyway about the retention practises and the porn and my sexuality and the quite bad relationships I anyway see a path a movement forvard. I was thinking about what explorer did write about meeting woman that already are occupied. It happens all the time for me to and I am 42. I think different ages has different problems and perhaps this is a typical problem at this age! Most women are occupied, sometimes in relationships that are economical supportive but pshychologicaly or spiritualy quite ded, they often want sexual relationships and spiritual freedom and adventure. And they are extremely sexy in there behaviour perhaps also frustrated ower that there best time, being most physicaly beatiful, is wanishing, making them afraid.
Anyway I have togheter with the kidney heart energetic ballancing also decided to wery pragmatically stop dreaming about the woman I am attracted to but where I can´t see any possibility for any relationship for what ever reason. So I have actually stopped fantasing about romantic love with woman where there never will happen anything serious. This work has also been succesful. I feel more free today and more open for new woman to enter into my life. I can be more flirty and I am not bound to anybody emotionally, which before did stop me from being flirty with other woman.
Lately I when been working alot I have decided to let everything be free, not putting up rules to follow for my health issues. I have been practising wery litle, but just occasionally and not every day, as I usually do at least one hour a day. Normally I see the qigong and yoga as my holiday or vacation, but for the moment I have vacation from the dissiplin in my practises. Create some freedom and gives some time for other activities, like jogging. But I feel like going back to the regular qigong and yoga practise, miss it already. and are starting to plan for my future practise.
As a person I like to do new things, and that said in relation to my retention practise. I can´t no longer find any big adventure in doing this practises alone. I feel that to have inspiration I need a woman or many women :).
The more I think about it at least from a rational point of wiev I feel like starting my white tigress practise with the woman that goes with me the course with Hsi Lai. Perhaps this will be my future. For the moment it feels quite but not completely right. Anyway we have started to be much more sexual to eachother lately and there might be something to build upon. I´m shore anyway that I will write more about this in the near future!
It is quite wierd anyway. I have much more energy mentaly and physically and more endurance since a wery long time, still there is a long way to be as I was before my illness, but the result encourage me to take up all the treatments again and also to build further and deeper into them all, that is even though that it is done with some difficulty, feeling pressure of all diciplin that it takes. Yes, the wierdness is that my sexuality is weaker than ever before and I also have some problems with leaking urin at in total it is not a pleasent experience. So together with the health program I want to stop the porn. I have come to realise, today 🙂 , that I will not manage this celibacy period in my life without porn.
My ideal wiev of things is that I want to manage my sexuality in several different situations in my life:
1 Manage my sexuality when living in celibacy, which I have done for ten years now. I must say that the whole universal tao system that I also have done over this timepreiod, has realy given me alot and I have developed my sexuality in a whole different way than before. But I have not managed to stop the porn, at least not completely. If I breake this celibacy period I want to do it without such stupid things as porn. But today I give this up and see it just as a signal for me to create a sexual relationship that in some sence works for the benefit for both people in some sence and stop idealising on how things should be.
2 I realy am curious if I have the ability to live like a jade dragon
3 I want to be able to live in a nice longterm relationship with a woman also. At least I think so. I have to say that for the moment my interest is more to tantra and dual cultivation than to be a normal family member, which I realy never have felt any big interes in. Perhaps thats way my relationhips never has reach longer than about three four years as the most.
4 I am also curious to learn to live in a polyamore situation and learn how to deal with jelousy and to create good and norinhing love relationships where more than two peoples are involved.
Well this is what I want to explore in my whole lifetime! So not worry I´m not totaly creasy. Well don´t think so anyway.
So conclusion:
I feel like my period of celibacy is ower. I have learned from it and I have enjojed as well as felt wery lonely from time to time. I have developed my sexuality and other qigong related issues alot during this period and found a as I strongly believe life long interest in taoist practises. 🙂 I have found a treatment that might ower time work! I want to come out and meet one or more girls and hope I will have some success! Quite intersting! I want to continue my sexual and other practises and it might be in the white tigress system as well as in the universal tao system. I want to stop porn.
And about my will to take a PhD I wrote about earlier. My new plan is to wait for about three or four years and during this time completely focus on my health work. If it not will be completely good then I will skip the idea of me taking a Ph.d. This was not a decission without difficulties, but I want to completely focus on my health work and I think to do both things both a PhD and a healh work with not enought energy not is a good idea, Both project will be extremely difficult to do at the same time.
I am walking a path…
SD
Here are some girls for you, SD.
While you are mesmerized by the video, let the lyrics absorb in.
Smiles . . . SHi SD,
Are you working on a particular degree right now,
or are you out of that and are working in a career right now?
How is that going?By the way, glad to hear about your progress and situation.
Sometimes I think you are too hard on yourself; you are good guy;
don’t beat yourself up too much. And enjoy the video from the previous post 😉S
Hello Steven!
I have been working as a teacher since about january. I´m also waiting to get my Master Thesis back.
This year I have had the second year class and also been teaching some other higher degree classes, much new stuff and quite fun.
For the momnent I am responsible for a field exercise for 30 people. Surveying you know.
Actually I plan to work more practically next year and know something that need to be done in my municipality, and hope to get some job closer. Perhaps to combine it with teaching. Thats my new plans. I will contact some people I have been working with back in the 80 ties and beginning of 90 ties, to see if they are interested. They should beacase the other people working therer does not have my theiretical knowledge, and some of that might be needed.
I hope the progress will continue, that is my total focus and that is my reason to be a bit hard to myself. But never will I reach perfection, I know that, but want to be close, want to know that I have done nearly everything that is possible, how can I ohterwise accept that my life is so influensed by an illness? or has been when I am older if I on the ohter side will know that I have done my best to solve it then I can accept my destiny, there whrere nothing else I could have done.
Well if results are coming then I culd relax a bit more beacase that is absolutely everything that matters to me. Well, in the mean time I have to live a life also, and that is with a lifes own problems and challenges. Also in the same time doing my job and so on…
So I have to beat myself up from time to time, to keep on going to my goal! This challenge, my illnsess, has without exception been the absolutely hardest for me in my life.
Thanks for video
I like even more the one with : DOn´t worry be happy Greate song, I love it!
SD
“From one thing, know 10,000 things…to die with one’s sword still sheathed is most regrettable.” – Mushashi Miyamoto in The Book of Five Rings
I’m trying to make sure all the talent and opportunities I have are not wasted, trying to make sure I succeed with everything I think is important, including leaving behind a better world than the one I came into. Sounds like you’re trying to do the same. It’s not easy when fate keeps throwing all kinds of obstacles in our way.
Oh yes, “A gem is not polished without rubbing nor a man perfected without trials.”
I don’t know who said that, but any Taoist would understand that too many obstacles can lead to the same results as too little, right?
Hi SD>>I have been working as a teacher since about january.
>>>I´m also waiting to get my Master Thesis back.So basically you are sort of done with your masters degree now?
In surveying?
That’s really great. A huge accomplishment!>>>For the momnent I am responsible for a field exercise
>>>for 30 people. Surveying you know.Sounds like you are having fun 🙂
>>>Actually I plan to work more practically next year
>>>and know something that need to be done in my municipality,
>>>and hope to get some job closer. Perhaps to combine it with
>>>teaching. Thats my new plans. I will contact some people
>>>I have been working with back in the 80 ties and beginning
>>>of 90 ties, to see if they are interested. They should beacase
>>>the other people working therer does not have my theiretical
>>>knowledge, and some of that might be needed.Fantastic!
>>>I hope the progress will continue, that is my total focus
>>>and that is my reason to be a bit hard to myself. But never
>>>will I reach perfection, I know that, but want to be close,
>>>want to know that I have done nearly everything that is possible,
>>>how can I ohterwise accept that my life is so influensed
>>>by an illness? or has been when I am older if I on the ohter
>>>side will know that I have done my best to solve it then
>>>I can accept my destiny, there whrere nothing else I could have done.
>>>So I have to beat myself up from time to time, to keep on going
>>>to my goal! This challenge, my illnsess, has without exception
>>>been the absolutely hardest for me in my life.No, I understand this a lot actually.
But just don’t let it get you down; keep in mind that everyone’s screwed up 😉
Or should I say, no one is screwed up, they just don’t realize it. ^_^>>>Thanks for video
>>>I like even more the one with :
>>>DOn´t worry be happy Greate song, I love it!The video I picked was mainly cause it had a lot of girls in it. Just for you. 🙂
But “Don’t worry, Be happy” is hard to beat.
There’s so much truth to that song it isn’t funny.
Too much worrying about stuff and not enough time enjoying life.
Life is too short as it is, and we miss the beauty in it by letting
our mind distract us from the subtle sweetnesses of life.
Nothing is so important that it should take away from that joy, in my opinion.
Every time I return back to that song and hear again at some point in my life,
I realize the genius of it to a whole new level.Smiles,
Steven>>>It’s not easy when fate keeps throwing all kinds of obstacles in our way.
But you like a good challenge, right? ^_^
Smiles,
StevenHi SD>>I have been working as a teacher since about january.
>>>I´m also waiting to get my Master Thesis back.So basically you are sort of done with your masters degree now?
In surveying?
That’s really great. A huge accomplishment!…….Yes I think it is almost finished, but there might also be alot more to do with it, uncertain of which is more true. I have gone into some theories that are more deep than my, supervisor???, at the university was asking for, and come into theories he not know so much and also not like! The more interesting part for me is that I have found a way to solve the problem that might be much better with respect to precision in the result than the common way. That I hope I will have some time to investigate after the master thesis is finished.
Anyway it is closer than ever before.
>>>For the momnent I am responsible for a field exercise
>>>for 30 people. Surveying you know.Sounds like you are having fun 🙂
….. Yes it is quite nice 🙂 I am working with my brother that have been working in a new district on the countryside at the arcipelago about a hour from the place we live. The place is wery beatiful with old wodden buildings and the nature is at it best this time of the year. The mosquitous are realy bad though in the area we are working in for the moment! But the job is greate.
>>>Actually I plan to work more practically next year
>>>and know something that need to be done in my municipality,
>>>and hope to get some job closer. Perhaps to combine it with
>>>teaching. Thats my new plans. I will contact some people
>>>I have been working with back in the 80 ties and beginning
>>>of 90 ties, to see if they are interested. They should beacase
>>>the other people working therer does not have my theiretical
>>>knowledge, and some of that might be needed.Fantastic!
……….Yes and today I got a tip of another job. My collegue in the teaching job, he that is a teacher for the first year right know is actually one of the few private surveyors in my area and he was offered a job that he not have the time to do. Perhaps that is something for me to start with. Well we see.
>>>I hope the progress will continue, that is my total focus
>>>and that is my reason to be a bit hard to myself. But never
>>>will I reach perfection, I know that, but want to be close,
>>>want to know that I have done nearly everything that is possible,
>>>how can I ohterwise accept that my life is so influensed
>>>by an illness? or has been when I am older if I on the ohter
>>>side will know that I have done my best to solve it then
>>>I can accept my destiny, there whrere nothing else I could have done.
>>>So I have to beat myself up from time to time, to keep on going
>>>to my goal! This challenge, my illnsess, has without exception
>>>been the absolutely hardest for me in my life.No, I understand this a lot actually.
But just don’t let it get you down; keep in mind that everyone’s screwed up 😉
Or should I say, no one is screwed up, they just don’t realize it. ^_^keep in mind that everyone’s screwed up 😉
…….. 🙂 🙂 🙂 and lol
>>>Thanks for video
>>>I like even more the one with :
>>>DOn´t worry be happy Greate song, I love it!The video I picked was mainly cause it had a lot of girls in it. Just for you. 🙂
But “Don’t worry, Be happy” is hard to beat.
There’s so much truth to that song it isn’t funny.
Too much worrying about stuff and not enough time enjoying life.
Life is too short as it is, and we miss the beauty in it by letting
our mind distract us from the subtle sweetnesses of life.
Nothing is so important that it should take away from that joy, in my opinion.
Every time I return back to that song and hear again at some point in my life,
I realize the genius of it to a whole new level.Smiles,
Steven…………. SD smiles back
Did you intend for your post to be a sexual innuendo?
I saw this post and about fell off of my chair laughing. ^_^
S
Hi SD,
>>>So basically you are sort of done with your masters degree now?
>>>In surveying?
>>>That’s really great. A huge accomplishment!
>>>
>>>…….Yes I think it is almost finished, but there might also
>>>be alot more to do with it, uncertain of which is more true.
>>>I have gone into some theories that are more deep than my,
>>>supervisor???, at the university was asking for, and come
>>>into theories he not know so much and also not like!
>>>The more interesting part for me is that I have found a way
>>>to solve the problem that might be much better with respect
>>>to precision in the result than the common way. That I hope
>>>I will have some time to investigate after the master thesis
>>>is finished.Well, at worst, maybe you could use that as a springboard for
working on a PhD later on down the road. Who knows?>>>….. Yes it is quite nice 🙂 I am working with my brother
>>>that have been working in a new district on the countryside
>>>at the arcipelago about a hour from the place we live.
>>>The place is wery beatiful with old wodden buildings
>>>and the nature is at it best this time of the year.
>>>The mosquitous are realy bad though in the area we
>>>are working in for the moment! But the job is greate.Sounds like the mosquitoes think the area is quite nice also.
I’m sure they are happy to see you. 🙂>>>>……….Yes and today I got a tip of another job.
>>>My collegue in the teaching job, he that is a teacher
>>>for the first year right know is actually one of the
>>>few private surveyors in my area and he was offered a job
>>>that he not have the time to do. Perhaps that is something
>>>for me to start with. Well we see.Lots of opportunities; should be an exciting time.
Cheers,
Steven
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