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I plan to write down if there is something speciall happening during my 100 days of practises.
Main practises:
2 times a day
1 Retention
2 Scrotal compression
3 Testikle breathing
4 Original cavity- meditation on with long breaths
5 Micro cosmicAnd standing tree with reversed breathing down to earth. Increasing number of breaths plan up to 100 breaths before end this practise.
Want also to write down strange dreams during the sexual retention practises. They usually arrives during my 100 days of retetntion.
Dream 1:
I dreamt about pepople with some wery ugly faces. There were people with wholes in the skin like small craters. Others that had faces fild with skulls all over the skin. Some had faces that where wery small and ugly.
It was something about telling me there are people around the world that have lifes that only give them trouble.
There where gardens: A man stod in his garden. He was all still couldn’t move there were nothing to do. He had nothing of value living in his garden. Just some old trees without fruits and nothing of value. He looked like he had dust and sand and soil on his skin. Wery dirty and wery destroid. The rich people had all the good things to cultivate he had nothing realy. But should have liked to make things grow.
No possibilities.
Comments: Feel like I should need some fusion to work with the feelings of ugliness and trouble from this dream. The feelings of infinite sadness arises.
S D
Dream 2
Are on the toilet and pissing in a urinal. Wery hard to hit the right spot beacase my cock is huge about 1 and a half meter. It’s a bit dirty need to be washed. Not broader than usually just the same with.
Comments: Usual dreamtype when doing retention
Dream 3
The girl I am in love with are home at my place. She founds something that I used to do for some years ago and tells me she would like to learn me more and also work with me in with this.
Coments: Fels like the dreams are telling me there is something good coming out of this possible relationship. Like that.
Need alot of sleep. Are sleeping until about 12 oklock still want to sleep more but are disturbed by noices. Goes up and doing the morning practise. A bit dizzy beacase of hunger. Had a small breakfest at about 8 a.m.
Are talking to my relatives that not have believed in my cold problem. They don’t believe that I’ve got wery much problem from being in a room of 20 degrees celsius. In the dream I talked about my cold problem and they showed me some hidden smiles not believing me. I then told them I have had the treatment on with the tyroids now and it helped me. They ow me an apologize for not have believed in me all this years.
Are wery angry about this.
S D
Was tired the whole day.
This usually happens when I do alot of deeper practises. I want to sleep alot. Probably a sígn of some deeper healing going on.
This evening the testikle breathing exercise was particularly strong. I have never done this exercise on a daily basis before. It feels like the energy penetrate deeper.
When reaching the head I felt so much energy so I decided not to meditate on the original cavity. It felt like I needed to distribute and convert the energy so I did some makrocosmic orbits instead. Suddenly the enegy wanted to stay in the throught point. I stayed there for several minutes and it felt that the energy was going to and around the thyroid gland. The whole area started to tingle a bit.
Then I forced the energy to go round some more times and circulated at the navel.
Intreseting to follow this new practises, beacase it feels like they are going deeper than usual. I also want to go deeper in my practises I realised after my brake before the new year eve.
S D
I haven’t realy stoped the masturbation. I do it when I feel the need for it. It seems to be a litle bit to much to not do it so I will do it if I like to. Sometimes doing the big draw and sometimes just stop and feel the orgasmic energy in my whole body.
Perhaps this kind of dreams arive after having raized the sexual energy in the genitals by masturbation and not doing the big draw.
It is unclear to me if it is bad or good or neighter to do some masturbation during retention. The book by Hsi Lai green dragon. He says it’s not good to do the big draw when not with a woman. He says you lose energy that way.
But my intuition for the moment is that this isn’t a problem. Perhaps it is much better to be with a woman beacase it creates energy. But I not feel like I loose it if I do masturbation and big draw by myself. But if I use pornography I feel like a loose energy and also create alot of disturbed energy. It feels like using pornograpghy takes away alot of Jing but temporaly creates some qi so that you might feel better the day afterwards having more energy. But in the long run I think it creates only bad things.
I am not completely free from it jet. But during this 100 days of retention I will not use It.
S D
Sadness lungs skindissorder connected.
Going into the collective uncounciousness to dig after this cind of problems and feelings.
S D
Dream
Get caught in a cactus when I took the way ower the harbout when going home. There was the usual quite asphalted area and then a man high ccactus on the side of the area. I get caught. Tried to get lost from it but failed. If trying with some other body part that part also get caught. Wanted to use my hands but had knited gloves on them. Suddenly I came loose with the help of my elbov.
Comments:
Not usually think in the Freudian way but this time I could’t escape it!
Get caught in my sexuality but can quite easily loose it up.S D
There was a huge boat with a captein that was competing wiht me. I was a litle ball that bounced around in the air and on the boat. Did brake something on the big boat and the captain was angry beacase that litle piece cost hem a fortune. He was angry beacase he looses more money than me.
Later on the bout was driving like a car on a road. It was so big that the weals was on the outside of ewery car and it could driwe ower them and scip the queue.
Comments:
I put this one after the cock dream also. Association: In swedich we call a nice big or expensive car for a cock extender.
S D
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