wendy

Hi wendy,

I felt inspired to respond to your blog . . .

Here is something to consider:

If you were to withdraw from teaching, posting, etc.,
what would you do then? Where would you find your purpose?

Sometimes giving back when it doesn’t seem to have any
personal benefit, generates other benefits.

I have a story I’d like to share that has served me well.
A professor friend of mine was talking with a colleague,
and this person asked him which classes he liked to teach.
His response was “I like to teach advanced classes to
bright, well-motivated students.” The colleague then
replied, “so in other words, you like to teach to people
that don’t need you”.

This is so true, because such students don’t really
need an instructor–they can learn it themselves from a book.

This exchange was very eye-opening for me.
I think of this often, as in my current position, I’m called
upon to teach lower level classes (often the same ones over
and over again) to struggling, unmotivated students. Since
the material is so simple, and since I’ve taught it many
many times, and since I know that the students aren’t
really interested and have no real talent, I have sometimes
felt like I’m wasting my time, and it doesn’t do anything for
me.

Then, I remember this story my professor friend told me. It then
inspires me to continue. Usually, shortly thereafter I see
some significant changes in improvement and attitude with some
of the students, and subsequent responses of subtle appreciation
that can only really be understood by someone who has taught
such classes.

In my personal experience, when I’ve felt that something was
unnecessary or wouldn’t provide any benefit, but did it
anyway from a space of openness, then even if I didn’t
receive an immediate apparent benefit, I would usually
receive one later as a delayed response with an
effect even stronger than other things I might be doing.

I’ve had this happen in qigong as well. When I was first
learning the Deep Healing Qigong, there were certain parts
of it that I really didn’t care for. I did them anyway just
because they were there. Then later, maybe a few days later,
I’d get a strong response due to those things. What I learned
from this was, the things that don’t seem to have
any benefit–these are the important things. These are the
things that cause most internal progress . . .

Like the Yang Inner Smile, while it might only seem
benevolent and not have any personal benefit–since you are
focused on others–it generates a boomerang effect, and you
get back more than what you put in–sometimes a stronger
result than if you just focused on yourself internally, albeit
possibly delayed until later.

I don’t presume to know your situation or your feelings,
as it is your personal path, and yours alone, but hopefully
you will find some benefit . . .

Maybe you are on the verge of another breakthrough?
The calm before the storm (storm in a good way) perhaps?

Best wishes to your path in any case,
Steven